Metro-Envy

David Stubbs (who?) is not happy that Gavin Henson, the cutest rugby player on the block, is going to star in the forthcoming UK version of The Bachelor. Spits Stubbs:

‘The news that Gavin Henson is to star in The Bachelor, the UK version of the infamously icky US series on Channel 5, in which he will pop the question to one of 25 women competing to win his hand, will be greeted with a mixture of dismay and a flexing of fists by Welsh rugby fans.’

He then goes on to list all Henson’s failings as a non-commital, undisciplined rugby player who let down his teams due to

‘the distractions of Strictly Come Dancing and…. fist fights with teammates’.

And his failings as a man, as his engagement to Charlotte Church ended after a couple of months.

But you know what, Graunwatchers, I don’t think this hack dislikes Henson because of his inability to behave like a ‘real man’, or because he is about to star in a ‘hideous piece of transatlantic trash’. I think he is jealous of the young buck:

‘The Bachelor will, of course, be a gross insult to womanhood on a par with the posse of dancing women in flesh-coloured one-piece outfits who fall into adoring postures around Kanye West onstage. But then, Henson is a looker – buff, tumescent of hair and with the sort of authentic tan you only get by summering regularly in Rhyl. And for a looker like him, self-reflection does not extend beyond the full-length variety, in the bathroom.’

Henson is a ‘looker’ indeed. And he knows his value in Metrosexy celebrity culture. I am sure Catherine Hakim would approve of him exploiting his obvious ‘erotic capital’. But this journo is full of sour grapes.

‘No matter how sorry, how debased, how failed, how banal our own lives may be, at least there are not as sorry, debased, failed and banal as this. In this respect, Henson is performing a public service far more important than any he is ever likely to perform on the rugby field.’

When does the series start? I can’t wait!

H/t : Red Pesto!

About these ads