Feminists Say Horrible, Horrible Things
Remember Suzanne Moore ‘s reason (that she gave to her daughter) for being a feminist: men do horrible, horrible things ? Well that seems to be the justification for many other feminists too. And another aspect of painting men as ‘horrible’ is to show why they are also less important, less deserving of compassion than women.
This time it is Barbara Ellen leading the speeches at the misandry party. Luckily, BrokenBottleBoy has responded to her recent ‘column’ on men and women and post-natal depression. So here is his piece:
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The media has a duty to act responsibly. Excuse me while I break off from writing this column to laugh so much that I rupture my spleen. Newspapers in particular, whatever their stripe, deep down feel only one responsibility: the responsibility to get attention at all costs.
While Twitter revs itself up into a foamy mess whenever The Daily Mail yanks the left wing’s tail with some ill-conceived splash of bile and spite, The Guardian and The Observer employ just as many troll columnists. What’s worse is that they come from a position of even greater self-righteousness. At King’s Place, there’s a general feeling of doing ‘God’s work’, only in place of God put the simpering face of Our Lord and Saviour Alan Rusbridger.
Barbara Ellen is a serial offender. Her Observer column is frequently the locus of illogical, bitter, hateful shit. It’s made worse because she can actually string together a really good sentence when she can see clearly out of the cloud of utter bullshit that she seems to walk around in, blissfully tanked up on a good mixture of misplaced righteousness and ragingly disproportionate self-esteem.
Why do I want to shoot Barbarella Ellen into deep space today? Because her latest column went even further than I have ever seen her go before. Depression is a tricky subject, one that requires nuance, empathy and understanding. Those are all things that Barbara “Bateman” Ellen struggles to manage being so convinced of her universal rightness.
I have a dog in this fight. Not because I am a depressed father (the subject of Ellen’s nasty little rant) but because I have suffered from depression and may do again. Last year, for about 6 months, I was cripple by it and unable to write. Most of the time, I was incapable of doing anything. It was not a choice. I did not want to be a burden on my family and my girlfriend. I wasn’t well. I got better. It was hard.
Now with that declaration of self-interest out of the way, let’s talk Barbara Ellen again. I’m sorry but it needs to be done. The crux of her column was the issue of “postnatal depression in fathers”. Like the worst kind of debate wanker, Ellen focuses not on the meat of the issue but on picking at the scab of language. The entire column is an exercise in semantic dickery by a woman who has made a career of being a total arse.
Witness: “One notices more talk of postnatal depression in fathers. I use the word ‘talk’ advisedly, scientific proof being in short supply.” Ellen has read two studies she disagreed with and needed something to fill her column, so, hey, why not belittle depression and write off a whole gender because, fuck, men are all bastards and shit, aren’t they?
“…the 21st-century vogue for PND in men is another steaming bucket of terry nappies.” Dr Barbara Ellen, PhD in Nasty Shite Studies, has spoken. Only I’m not sure there’s a “vogue”. If you stop getting hung up on whether PND is the right term – which I don’t think it is – and instead consider the number of young men who kill themselves without ever asking for help, the idea that there is in any way a fashion for depression is vile.
The paragraph which should have got this column spiked and which The Observer should issue an unreserved apology for is this one: “I would have been more concerned that the mothers in question were having to put up with such exhausting narcissists as partners – men incapable of hiding their sulky self-absorption, even while being watched for researchers for a period of, wait for it, three minutes. Even serial killer Ted Bundy managed to look ‘normal’ for longer than that.”
Babs picks Ted as an example because they have a certain affinity, what with them both being psychopaths with the empathy of a shark gnawing on a surfer’s leg. Depression is not a choice. It is crippling and debilitating. It’s not the affectation of a narcissist, like a pocket square added to a suit in the hope of looking a little bit more Don Draper.
That “sulky self-absorption” is more like a pall of unstoppable gloom that threatens to consume you and faking a smile for even three minutes can feel as impossible as mastering flight or developing X-ray vision.
Barbara Ellen sees relationships as a battle between two enemies forced to fuck to continue humanity. Women and men are from different countries, meeting at a safe house to screw before returning to their encampments to rage.
“One hesitates to use the term womb-envy…” says Babs. ‘One’ hesitates? ‘One’?! Who made Barbara Ellen queen of the entitled, horrific doucebag column wankers? Oh yes, Babs herself in a little ceremony in front of her mirror.
I am sad and angry that The Observer saw fit to publish this vile little outburst from a woman so incapable of making an empathetic leap. Sure her column made an impact but in a very real sense it helps contribute to the further stigmatisation of people with depression, regardless of gender.
Depression is a killer and those who suffer from it must not and should not see their condition trivialised by people seeking to make cheap points in the desperate hope that they’ll sell newspapers/get them a telly deal.
Ellen concludes: “It was a long, hard road for womankind, getting postnatal depression recognised as a condition…it seems to me that saying men can also get it is just cheapening this achievement.” Oh, we are so sorry Barbara, would you like a fucking merit badge?
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More links:
Mark Simpson – Misandry The Acceptable Prejudice http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/2011/02/09/misandry-the-acceptable-prejudice/
Mind Hacks – An Antidote To Post-Natal Venom http://mindhacks.com/2012/04/15/an-antidote-to-post-natal-venom/
Ally Fogg responds to Ellen at cif http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/apr/16/new-fathers-depression-mental-health
h/t @nosexism
The one thing that screwed up the whole order of things and the whole institution of couples and relationships was the day that the womens Lib Movement started.I think that those women expected men to get up and fight for there leadership, their manhood, the one who brings home the money, but…men just opened up the door for women and let them at it. So then women became independant. The took the jobs that left men with a family unemployed. But of course the men didn’t even try for the jobs very hard anymore. They were happy for the jobs that were left over after the women took the ones they wanted. So this independent woman who also has a family an a husband that is a stay at home daddy, decided that they need to let go of some of their workers and they decide on the man who took the secondary job that was left after the women had all the good jobs. They had to let him go.
So he, is fired by a woman who could be at home being the mother and maybe getting a part time job untill she finishes her responsibility. Then a man with four kids could have one of those exsecutive jobs and support his family while the wife spends the day taking care of the homefront, doing crafts, decorating, cleaning up messes and playing with the little kiddies. until daddy gets home. Then she can give him some support after his tiring day.
But no, women want to be there at the job doing all that kind of stress, having to pay all the bills, taking on all of the responsibiblity that comes there way and they have no chioce on when to let it get done. Good job ladies!!! Oh and a special thing coming your way to the women with young children who feel such a calling to go to war and serve our country in some country that wants America dead. While little kiddy stays home with Daddy or aunty or grandma or god knows who for about 6 months or a year. Way to go wit hyour pruiorities!
Ok Im sorry for taking up so much space. I just have strong feelings about the feminist movement and the consequenses of it. So thanks for letting me comment lol.
Wow….I am gobsmacked. Surely a contender for worst Guardian piece ever – and i do not say that lightly.
A few interesting opinion pieces in the Guardian recently, and then we get this from Barbara Ellen. Highlights include the terms, “Womb envy” and “sulking”, oh and throwing in a mention of Ted Bundy, as though it was relevant to the topic of fathers (his name is just there to remind us of men ‘who do nasty things to women’, lest we briefly get the impression that other men are any different from Bundy)
Then she lists some statistics to try and sound scientifically rigorous, then dismiss them all with a blanket interpretation pulled out of nowhere…Effectively saying, these depressed men are in fact “exhausting narcissists”.
Perhaps she’s making some exciting post-modern point with all this… Actually what she’s trying to do is anger everybody, and what the scrupulously moral Guardian newspaper is trying to do is desperately attract publicity and readership – by publishing provocative, ill-informed bile.
Ally Fogg bang on the money again. Is he the G’s best writer? I suspect so.
Ally Fogg bang on the money again. Is he the G’s best writer? I suspect so. – he’s one of their only decent writers on masculinity, though after (nods to QRG) Mark Simpson they pretty much give up beyond the fellow-travelling male feminists.
That said, Ellen’s article reminds me of an equally bone-headed piece on men, mental health and sheds by Lucy Mangan. As Fogg says:
With a heavy heart, I’ve come to accept that there is a significant minority of both women and men who simply do not care about men’s health and welfare beyond its impacts on the female partners who might have to “put up with such exhausting narcissists” or the poor employers who might have to fork out sick pay for seriously ill employees.
Either the Guardian, or some of its female writers, or both, really do have a tin ear when it comes to some aspects of masculinity and men’s lives.
“Either the Guardian, or some of its female writers, or both, really do have a tin ear when it comes to some aspects of masculinity and men’s lives.”
They cannot allow the water to wash over the sands of woman good/man bad and male privilege. It would undermine their footing.
re Ally Fogg’s quote: “With a heavy heart, I’ve come to accept that there is a significant minority of both women and men who simply do not care about men’s health and welfare”
I am one of that clan who believe that this is probably a natural state of affairs – we are by nature more protective towards women and children. Explains some of the prejudice men face and why people – even those who have been banging on about “equality” for decades – can be so obtuse when it comes to recognizing it
Though I think people could at least recognize that tendency in ourselves – that would be a start. but as I say there’s a sort of resistance there
Hi Henry
I agree to a point. But I think feminists want their cake and eat it. They claim to be ‘strong women’ and deserving of equality, but also play the ‘women and children first’ card all the time!
Interesting piece. It’s good to see some of this wordplay from star columnists being exposed for what it is.